Star Wars: The Force Awakens - J.J. Abrams

I had yet to see a J.J. Abrams film until The Force Awakens.  I had heard bad things about the Star Trek reboot, but that could have always just been typical fandom complaining (and I was quite a fan of Star Trek for a while, so I know what that can be like).

After viewing The Force Awakens, I was determined to find out if the result was just a fluke or indicative of J.J. Abrams film-making ability.

It turns out J.J. Abrams couldn't direct a film to save his life.

And, no, it's not lens flares.  I hardly ever noticed those.

If one world can describe J.J. Abram's director style, it is sloppy.  His movies are simply uneven.  They might succeed in one area only to fail completely in another, particularly in action scenes.

Comparing J.J. Abrams to Brett Ratner is an insult -- to Ratner.  Ratner has made at least three decent movies (Rush Hour, Red Dragon, and Hercules).  That's not to say they aren't without problems, but they function as movies and not just dumb spectacle.  Even George Lucas has at least one great movie (Star Wars) and possibly two other good ones (THX 1138, American Graffitti).

But also notice that Ratner and Lucas have a greater breadth of genre.  As listed above, Ratner has made a buddy-cop action comedy, a detective-thriller, and a historical fantasy-adventure movie.  Lucas has made an sci-fi/fantasy-adventure, a sci-fi dystopian future, and a teen comedy.

J.J. Abrams just keeps making the same type of movie over and over:  action movies combined with sci-fi and a bit of mystery.

The thing is, he's not even good at action!  In 2015, Kingsman: The Secret Service and Mad Max: Fury Road were both far better action movies than The Force Awakens.  His action scenes are hardly ever exciting.  They lack impact and seem to exist only to fill time.

Simply put, J.J. Abrams makes big dumb action movies, with bad action.  He's found success because such movies are in style right now:  Captain America: Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy are very similar in terms of mind-numbing action to an Abrams movie.  He's a faddish director whose movies won't be remembered once the fad ends.  It's appalling that he was chosen to spearhead the Star Wars revival.

If I were to rank J.J. Abrams' movies, it would be this:

1. Star Trek (2009) - In a surprise, some of the action in this Abrams film is actually good (such as Kirk running around with swollen hands, the Vulcan destruction sequence, the end fight), has some good characters (Old Spock), and proper character focus (Chekov, Sulu, and others are there, do something, but aren't a drag).  It still has problems with some bad action (monster on Vulcan's moon), plot contrivances (Kirk's mother giving birth on the ship at that exact moment), and forcing Kirk to be the captain at film's end.  It's middling at best.
2. Super 8 - It has good emotional scenes and insane action sequences that belong in a war movie.  I couldn't place the tone of the movie.  The focus of the movie should have been film-making with an alien mystery
3. Star Trek:  Into Darkness - Strip everything good from the first film.  Now it's an even dumber plot with dumber action.  It's #2 only because the momentum from the first one helps it.
4. The Force Awakens
5. Mission Impossible 3 - an action movie with terrible action.  Not once did I feel invested in the fight scenes that just come off as realistic to the point of boredom,  There is a mystery/thriller plot as well that's fairly obvious.

I'm not firm on this ordering.  I could swap #2 and #3 (Super 8 was slightly more creative, but its tonal dissonance was even more jarring than Into Darkness) as well as #4 and #5 (thus making The Force Awakens the worst movie J.J. Abrams has ever made).

On top of that, Abrams movies aren't even good by the standards of their respective franchises (or even similar movies/TV shows):

• Star Trek Beyond was the best of the new Trek movies.  It was fun, the plot made sense, the story was serviceable, and the action and character interaction were good.
• Mission Impossible 3 was the worst Mission Impossible movie and earned the least at the box office.  The preceding and following movies all had a good grasp of the tone and action the series should have.  On top of that, MI2 and MI3 are almost direct copies of each other, but MI3 is simply handled worse (worse love interest/chemistry, worse action, worse mystery of the "Rabbit's Foot" and what the stakes are).
• Stranger Things is far better than Super 8.  It has better characters and far more understated action sequences.
• The Force Awakens is around Prequel-quality.  Various Expanded Universe books, comics, and video games beat all of them.

Some people think George Lucas shouldn't have directed the Prequels, instead acting as Producer on them.  I'd argue the same goes for J.J. Abrams.  His directorial skills are sub-par, but his list of producer credits include:

• Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol and Rogue Nation.
• 10 Cloverfield Lane.
• Star Trek Beyond.
• Westworld.

From this list, it's clear that J.J. Abrams is good at finding people with talent and giving them the opportunity to succeed.  He shouldn't be directing movies.  For the love of God, he also shouldn't be writing them.  Gone Fishin' and Armageddon should have taught us that.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Title Crawl Analysis

To a degree, the quality of a Star Wars movie can be determined by the opening title crawl.  A movie with a logical or decent plot should be reflected in the opening text.  For the purposes of this demonstration, all texts will start with a score of zero, then points subtracted as non-sequiturs or bad plot points are encountered.

Let's start with the Original Trilogy.

A New Hope:

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. 

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. 

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....

Nothing wrong here.  All the major groups, people, and events are listed.

Score:  0.

The Empire Strikes Back:

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. 

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth. 

The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....

Again, this sets up the movie perfectly.

Score:  0.

Return of the Jedi:

Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. 

Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. 

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

Yet again, this sets up the movie.  The only minor quibble could be that the first paragraph deals with one plot thread (rescuing Han), while the rest of it deals with the main story.  The movie opens with the main plot and transitions between the two in a smooth fashion.

Score:  0 or -1 (maybe).

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Let's try the Prequels.

The Phantom Menace:

Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute. 

Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo. 

While the Congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....

As much as people hate this movie, the opening crawl is accurate to the movie.  We saw the Senate debating and arguing, not actually accomplishing anything.  The Trade Federation blockades Naboo.  Two Jedi Knights are central to the story.

Score:  0.

Attack of the Clones:

There is unrest in the Galactic Senate. Several thousand solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of the mysterious Count Dooku, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy. 

Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....

Again, this is accurate to the movie.  It could be docked a point or two for not showing the Jedi Knights struggling to maintain peace or solar systems seceding.  It's a borderline case between background information and plot information (see Rebel spies text in A New Hope's opening crawl).  The line about the Army of the Republic is actually useful since the whole movie is about obtaining a clone army.

Score:  0 or -1 or -1.5.

Revenge of the Sith:

War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku (-1). There are heroes on both sides (-1). Evil is everywhere. 

In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. 

As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive (-1) Chancellor....

This is the first title crawl with major issues.  First up, Count Dookuis mentioned, but quickly killed off in the movie to little impact.  Grievous is in the movie more.  "There are heroes on both sides" loses another point because that is never seen at all.

It also loses a point for "rescue the captive Chancellor" because that isn't the main plot of the movie.  Like Dooku, that's resolved in the opening act.  All other opening crawls were related to the main story of the movie, but not this one.  ("Rescue Han" from Jedi isn't either, but the main plot was referenced.  A simple line about the Senate/Republic crumbling under the war might fix it.)

Score:  -3.

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And now, The Force Awakens:

Luke Skywalker has vanished (-1). In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the Empire and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been destroyed. 

With the support of the REPUBLIC (-1), General Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE. She is desperate to find her brother Luke and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy. 

Leia has sent her most daring pilot (-1) on a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally (-1) has discovered a clue to Luke's whereabouts....

The "Luke Skywalker has vanished" is a plot thread that is quickly abandoned by the movie in favor of the Starkiller base plot.  It barely factors into the movie at all.

Leia's Resistance doesn't seem to actually have the support of the Republic, or wouldn't they have more ships?  And wouldn't they be more willing to listen to her?  She apparently sent her assistant to the capital to deliver warnings that the New Republic failed to heed.

In fact, let's check Wookieepedia's article on the Resistance:

When the First Order arose from the ashes of the Empire, Organa urged the Republic to take the threat seriously. Rebuffed and being labeled a paranoid warmonger, Organa was disgraced in the eyes of the New Republic's Senate following the revelation that her father was Darth Vader.

"Rebuffed" and "labeled a paranoid warmonger" doesn't sound like "support".

Poe Dameron is barely in the movie and isn't even really a character.  The fact that he is mentioned at all is astounding considering he was originally supposed to die.  Replacing him with Han, even though he himself dies, would have made more sense.  At least Han had some importance to the movie.

"An old ally" is again a pointless reference to someone who doesn't matter at all.  Max von Sydow plays someone who somehow knew Leia in a book or something.  If it were someone more important (Lando, Ackbar, Wedge Antilles, etc.) and they had some more involvement in the plot, mentioning them would make sense.  As it is, it's just useless cruft.

Score:  -4.

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At a score of minus four, The Force Awakens narrowly beats Revenge of the Sith for the title of Worst Opening Crawl.  Sith's opening has no relation to the main plot of the movie (Anakin's turn to the Darkside and the fall of the Republic), whereas Awakens' has a slight relation to the plot (Luke has vanished, which is quickly superseded by the Starkiller base plot).

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - An Unmitigated Disaster

Author's note:  I initially wrote a bunch of these articles in March and then stopped to do other things.  Since then I've consumed more media and have better comparisons to make to The Force Awakens.  With the upcoming new movie, my plan is to rush these out as quickly as possible, which couldn't possibly end in failure.  Why, just look how quickly The Force Awakens was produced.

I'll be constantly updating this post as new articles are published.  Everything is going to be published out of order because I'm horribly organized and need to push myself to do things.

I'm rather later to posting any sort of review for The Force Awakens.  It will have absolutely no effect on anything whatsoever, but I wanted to post my inane ramblings somewhere.

The Franchise Shambles from Its Grave

When Disney bought Lucasfilm and announced a new set of Star Wars movies, people were generally hopeful.  George Lucas's Prequel Trilogy failed to impress both audiences and critics.  The movies contained bizarre dialogue, odd/inappropriate action sequences, poor story/plots, and didn't mesh well with the original trilogy (characters didn't act like their Original Trilogy counterparts).  Surely Disney couldn't produce a movie as bad as that?

Three years after Disney's purchase of Lucasfilm, they released The Force Awakens, which contains bad dialogue, bad characters, bad action, bad story and plot, as well as it just doesn't feel like Star Wars as all.  At least Lucas's Prequels still sort of felt like Star Wars.  The Force Awakens is a Marvelized version of Star Wars.

This entire blunder can be laid at the feet of The Force Awakens' director, J.J. Abrams.

The magnitude of Disney's failure is so great, I'll be going in-depth on each topic and linking to them from this post.  It went wrong in so many ways, it's practically required.

Table of Contents

1. The Characters
2. Star Wars vs. Game of Thrones
3. The Plot and Story
4. The Dialogue
5. The Action
6. J.J. Abrams
7. Conclusion

Load State

I finally have access to my computer again after several months.  Not that anyone noticed except some spambots.

And it just so happens that something called "GamerGate" erupted during that time...

How to Force a Gamepad to Work with Saints Row 2

I purchased Saints Row 2 off Steam only to discover my PlayStation DualShock controller doesn't work out-of-the-box with it.  After spending an hour experimenting with it, I figured out how to make it work.

The problem is the axes are screwed up.  The game assumes there's an Xbox 360 controller, which has more than four axes.  It also assumes the axes do different things or are in different positions.  This causes the uncontrollable scrolling effect when starting up the game.

How Saints Row 2 recognizes controller input:

Axis 1: Non-existent.  Doesn't correspond to any button or axis on a DualShock.  (May also be a default setting for unused axes.)
Axis 2: Left analog stick back/forth movement.  (Y-axis)
Axis 3: Left analog stick left/right movement.  (X-axis)
Axis 4: Right analog left/right movement.  (Z-rotation +/-)
Axis 5: Right analog up/down movement.  (Z-axis +/-)

If it weren't for Axis 1, this would work perfectly.

The in-game controller settings only allow the user to assign Axes 1-4 when using a DualShock controller.  Axis 1 doesn't work with the DualShock.  Axis 5 does work, but the user can't assign it.  However, hex editing the file "input.bin" can force the game to use Axis 5.

The red number "04" corresponds to "Axis 5".

The game will play perfectly with this setting, but changing gamepad input with the in-game menu causes graphical glitches.

It sort of works.

Simply switching 0x2C4 in input.bin back to "00" fixes this and allows the player to change buttons again.

Here are the steps to get a DualShock or similar controller working with Saints Row 2:

1. Start game with controller off or unplugged (to prevent scrolling problem).
2. Set Movement X/Y to Axis 3/2 and Camera X/Y to Axis 4/1.
3. Exit game.
4. Open input.bin with a hex editor (such as HxD).  File should be located in "D:\Documents and Settings\{username}\Local Settings\Application Data\THQ\Saints Row 2".
5. Change address 0x2C4 (row 0000002C0, column 04) from "00" to "04".  Make sure it overwrites (replace characters) and doesn't insert (add characters, lengthening the file).
6. Save and start up Saints Row 2.
7. If you need to change the controller's other buttons (such as changing fire button to a shoulder trigger), repeat steps 4-6, but change the hex value from "04" to "00".  The in-game menu should work then.  (Then change back to "04" to get the camera working again.)  You can also just keep the hex editor open, but the file might change if you make input changes via the game's interface.  The game needs to be restarted with every change via hex editor as well.

If this doesn't qualify as "forcing", I don't know what does.

How to Reset Dandelion's Lute Quest in The Witcher

I've been playing The Witcher recently and ran into a problem with a quest.  Basically, I messed up Dandelion's Lute quest:  I found the lute before even talking to Dandelion thus robbing Geralt of a Romance Card.  I found a somewhat successful way to fix this using The Witcher save game editor.

Here are some things you'll need:

• The Witcher save game editor.
• Make sure the run shortcut points to your install and save game files.  Right-click on the shortcut, select Properties, and check the Target text box.
• For example, my shortcut link is: 
• %windir%\system32\javaw.exe -DTW.install.path="D:\Program Files\Steam\SteamApps\common\The Witcher Enhanced Edition" -DTW.language=3 -Xmx256m -jar TWEditor.jar 
• DTW.install.path is the install location of The Witcher.  In this case it is Steam, but your system may be different.
• DTW.language=3 apparently puts it in English.
• DTW.data.path (not seen in above example) controls save data path.  The default is "C:\Documents and Settings\{username}\My Documents\The Witcher".
• Two save files:  One from the beginning of the game (your "source save game") and the one you want to change (your "target save game").
• A backup of the to-be-changed saved game in case anything goes wrong.

Steps to reset the quest:

1. File->Open the target save game.
2. Delete Dandelion's Lute from Inventory.  (Important since it affects dialogue choices.)
3. File->Save to save these changes.
4. Click on the "Quests" tab.
• Click on the name of the quest you want to change, such as Dandelion's Lute, and click the Examine button.
• Note at the end of the description a file is listed.  This is the file we need to copy from the source save game to the target save game.  In the case of Dandelion's Lute, the file is called "q3031_lute".
5. Actions->Unpack Save the target save game to a directory such as "target".
6. File->Close the target save game.
7. File->Open the earlier save game.
8. Actions->Unpack Save the earlier source save game to a directory such as "source".
9. Close the save game.
10. Copy the quest file (such as "q3031_lute.qst" for Dandelion's Lute) from the "source" directory to the "target" directory, overwriting as necessary.
11. In the save game editor, select File->Open and open the target save game again.  Select Actions->Repack Save and choose the "target" directory to merge all those files into the target save.
12. File->Close to close the file.
13. Play the fixed save.  Talk to Dandelion about the quest.  He should say to go see a woman.
14. Visit the woman and this time she'll talk about Dandelion more and enable a Romance Card.
15. Return to Dandelion, save the game, and edit this save file.  Re-add Dandelion's Lute to inventory and save.  Talking to him again will complete the quest.

This successfully reset the quest triggers to the point Geralt could earn a Romance Card.  However, this did not reset every conversation or previous action:  the woman who held the lute already knew Geralt, Geralt had already dealt with her father, and the lute wasn't returned to the trunk.  I also experimented with completing the quest and then resetting the quest file.  The conversation with Dandelion already occurred, so Geralt couldn't activate the lute quest.  In short, this quick and dirty way of resetting quests has very limited use. 

Oculus Rift and Facebook

Facebook acquired Oculus Rift for some two billion dollars in cash and stock.  While I've never been a fan or proponent of virtual reality or the Oculus Rift, I can understand why some backers are upset.

Facebook isn't a games industry company.  Games run on their platform, but the games only serve as a way to draw people into their system.  Facebook churns through users and depends on a massive number of them in order to sell advertising.

The problem is that virtual reality probably won't be used by hundreds of millions of people.  It will be a niche product like stereoscopic 3D games and movies, although it could be a very large niche with millions of users.  A company like Valve can support a small to large niche, but Facebook demands higher returns for its investments.  It's unlikely Facebook will derive significant consumer revenue from Oculus Rift without gaming.  That leaves business and government purchases, but there's a problem there as well.

It doesn't quite make sense that Facebook bought Oculus Rift to compete with Google Glass.  Google Glass provides a heads-up display to deliver environmental information to users.  The business application is readily apparent:  a delivery man equipped with Google Glass can track a package, drive an optimal route, and receive updates from headquarters in real time (individual technologies already exist for this, but Google Glass can combine all these functions into one portable unit).  Oculus Rift only allows the wearer to explore a virtual environment.  It might be useful for training medical or military personnel, but its applications are inherently limited.  Gaming is one of the larger potential roles for the Oculus Rift, but since Facebook isn't primarily interested in it, the Rift's backers may be left out in the cold.

Of all the possible suitors for Oculus Rift, Facebook may prove the worst.  Companies like Microsoft, Nintendo, and Sony have all shown a willingness to support new technologies for a length of time.  Facebook is too young and their recent spendthrift buying spree suggests little if any long-term planning or strategy.  The second Facebook runs into serious financial difficulty, they'll jettison Oculus Rift as dead weight.  Facebook will either sell it or, possibly to forestall competitors, simply shut it down and cease all production.  Oculus Rift fans and backers are right to be worried.  A more traditional gaming company could guarantee a certain level of support.  Backers could trust that it wouldn't be dropped on a whim.  Facebook can't buy that.